Hugh Hefner

Dear Hef,

Many of my friends even do not know your name.  They will in most probable cases condemn me writing you a letter. For many of those Hippocrates, what I am doing is nothing bu praising a person who spreads nudity. But to me, you are god of porn. Personally I havent read any of your magazines, and telling you frankly, I even dont find an honest urge to read them from inside. If given an option then I will plainly deny to come in your shoes, because I dont find myself strong enough to replicate what you did till now. I am still confused over the importance of porn in society, so I can be judgmental on  your job.

Hef, but tell me one thing frankly and honestly, do you really think that there could have no other thing which you could have done in a much better way than what you have done with Playboy. If you dont find it, then I must praise you harder, and ther must be many things to learn from. You made a Playboy a household name, and much brighter than your competitors. When ever we get time to meet, I would certainly like to ask you about the mantra of your success. My praise should not be taken for your magazines, as I still find them very useful, I think that there could have been better use of those pages than what you are doing, but my praise is for you. I am praising you, on how you made a successful industry with respect. Whenever, and honestly I would really like to meet you in personal, I would ask you large number of questions, many of them might be nothing but repetitions, but few would certainly be original.

Today I am really short of time, so I am cutting this letter short and hoping for your good health.

Yours Truly

Kax

Late Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.

Dear Gandhi,

I never met you, but still you are very much a part of our life. We Indians have a international hero in you. Mr. Gandhi I don’t know how much would have I liked your policies, but indeed they proved very helpful in getting Indian independence. I am not writing letter for telling you how much successful you were, and much you are admired in present era, but my reasons are different. I want to tell you that besides being a great person and a legend, you are world wide brand. And what do you sell, you are selling many things internationally including India, and peace. Mr.Gandhi, things have turned a great deal after your demise, things arent as social as you would have liked, they are very capitalist, the people you rooted for, the Indian living in village is still not far from where you left them. Sir things are going in right direction for them too, but it is slow, it is taking time to trickle fruits of power and development to them.

I also think that you wouldnt have been as successful as you were in that era if you are made to come up in this one. But like all the great people, things can turn on their head when people like you get into matters. Hey do you know that your brand, the Gandhi brand is international face for peace. But I dont know why do police department hang your photos inside police stations, when they have nothing to do with peace. Mr Gandhi, the congress you left is no more, and you must read the newspapers as its a  too long a history and you will only find mentally crippled people running the state, barring few.

I dont have any complains against you, but still somewhere in my heart I feel that you could have done few things better. This letter is very imotional on my part as I know that you are no more to read this, but where ever  you are, try to reincarnate and do few things which are necessary, or if you find that too tedious, then guide me.

Yours Sincerely

Kax.

Raam

Subject: You and and your Godhood.

Raam, is this OK with you, if I dont use Ji after your name? I dont think it will matter to you much. So for this letter(at least) I will refer you as Raam. This is indeed first letter to you, but we have been in touch since time immemorial and see what an apt time it is to write you a letter, when it is not a good season for you. You have always stood by our side, and now I think its our turn to stand by your side. But again the question arises, is it important for us to stand by your side? Probably yes or who knows you might feel otherwise.

God or no God you were indeed a nice person, who messed with his life after a great war. I dont know why sent you wonderful wife to Vanwaas, but there must be some solid reasons behind, as you were always a level headed person. Barring that I think what you did was almost correct. Now after I dont know how many years, because ASI or for that any archaeological evidence havent pointed out any year in the history when you took your birth, like what you mate did(JC), people are saying that you are not true and just a mere fiction. Oh my God you must be really feeling bad( but you are God). Ramsetu, the bridge you created( or natural forces did) is also being questioned, whether it was really created for, by you…or anything including you. People are also questioning, about your education, they want to know about the engineering college from which you studied, They are thus questioning Vishwamitra University of All sciences. Any you must be laughing hard at those people, who might not be able to produce a valid certificate of them passing there college.

What I suggest is that you should come and settle few things, like tell them that even the one who made large buildings in medieval India didnt passed from any engineering college because if they would have, then they might not have stood the test of seasons and time. Raam, you are very much like Amir Khan, who does no prefer coming up in media and clearing all air up, but I will still insist that you come down and clear the things, whatever they may be. Things might not turn good for you, as you might see black flags, and mass rallies against you, and even the women rights activist might ask for you trial as per Indian Penal Code, I thus make sure that I will avail you best of the best of the best… lawyer to fight for you. Who knows you might be tried for the various murders you did in cold blood, when you were not the king, man you would be in grave danger, but I assure you that I will, though not as good as Hanuman, get the best support you can get. Things might even get tougher because there is already a property case (your birth place) for which your statement would be extremely important. When ever you plan to come to make a priority list, otherwise you might end up in a jam, as there are still many fans and lovers for you.

I from my level can at my best give you my minuscule support and hope that God gives you strength to fight against the questions which are against your very existence. Hoping to see you in near future.

Yours Truly

Kax.

Manmohan Singh

Subject : U taking U turn on nUclear pact.

Dear Mannu,

Its after long time that I am writing anything to you, if I forget the marks I scored in last semester mathematics examination then its probably after 21 years(I scored poorly in Maths). Mannu, I have always liked the way you take things when they come at you, with extreme modesty. Probably due to coalition politics, you have been forced to take u turns after u turns, and for a JATT I know, it must be a real hard thing to do. Mannu if there are 100 things on which we can mutually agree then one of them would be that you are not good in politics. Like a peacock blooming in rain, you bloom when it comes to economics. N-pact or no N-pact, I will allways be with you.

Mannu, but why do you call, Madam, Madamji and not Soniaji. I personally dont have any problem with it, but at least in a nation where Prime Minister is the real boss, we would like a PM who is the BOSS.

Coming back on the N-Pact or should I call it U-pact, because the number of times you have taken U’s I have forgot the N before U to make it NUclear pact. Tell me one thing honestly, I will keep it to myself, Are you truly sure that N/U Pact is good for nation or not. And if you are nodding in Yes then where is your conviction gone, my parents have always told me, conviction comes from truth. If you are convinced then I am convinced though at the back of my mind I know more than N/U pact is going to help our country it will help those companies who are going to supply us with the required materials. And one more thing which I would like to put straight, the books you are reading now a days are not good( i am not talking of the latest Playboys) but books on energy. Nuclear energy in no way can be the complete solution to our energy needs so stop selling that N/U deal to us in that way. Saying that me and my friends also know that it nuclear energy is required for us.

MannU, I am expecting a quick reply on my final question, What is more important to you? India or 7 Race Course? Till then I am hoping for more news without U’s

Yours Truly

Kax

Andrew Symonds

Subject: You being compared to monkey.

Dear Andrew,

I will come straight to point, you are as big as a Gorilla standing tall, and when we see your cricket shots then we feel that your power is also comparable to that mighty ape. You and your team also performed pretty well( we lost 2-4), and you were awarded Man of the series for your consistent performance. Congratulations for all this and good wishes for your future. But there is one speck which bothered your team a lot, you and your team used a very strong word for it, RACIST. Symonds we are sorry if you felt bad, but I would like to tell you that there is no need to feel that way. You are acting like a small kid if you are feeling bad. You really look like monkey a few times, but you are not alone, we the Indians also see Sresanth as one. After all we all are decedents from monkeys. If it has to do least with one thing then it would be with your RACE. All it has to do is with you appearance, go man, stand in front of a mirror, you will see one. But there is nothing bad in it. We the Indians even pray a Monkey, Hanumaan for your information, tall, strong and mighty, but with much more calmness than what you have. You can come hard on our team when they visit you in future, it wont matter much to us, because we know that we also look like monkeys, some players even look like toads.

I would also like to draw some light on a fact that every human face have some similarities with some animal or other, after all we all are decedent from on micro-organism. I would tell you something on a personal note, sometimes my family members taunt me as a GOAT, does it have to do anything with my RACE…you, Andrew, you and your whole team called a world class bowler, Pigeon…do you remember his other name? Was that to do anything with his race? Absolutely not…it was all about his appearance, and thats it.

Now let me tell you what Racism is. If you see, “Dogs and Australian Aborigines are not allowed” anywhere in world, even in India, then thats Racism…and if you see something like that in India, tell me, I will be the first person standing up for you. Indeed Indian supporters didn’t supported you, but were they meant to do so, even after you said few nasty things about their players, and after seeing you jumping and taking every ball that came to your way, and after you walking to every player when and saying few things which only you, that player and God knows, I dont think so…so they gave you booos.

On the last note I would like to tell you two things, one, it is only the fruit laden tree that is pelted and other forget this racism thing you are a big boy, and please get your hairs clean.

Yours Truly

Kax

Readers : Introsuction

This is just the beginning of a very common process. The thing is, I have reinvented the wheel and I will force the people I know to use it more often than there very common and nearly perfect piece. You see, letters for editors and others in news papers, so called open letters. But are they open…no, they are not. You can not comment on letters, for that you have to write a letter which nobody will publish. Daily, we see lot of idiotic things happening and rarely we see that some thing good happens but as I am a lazy person, I will not publish on some one else’s paper. I am cynical person, who will prefer publishing letters on my own paper, but I dint had money to do so….so I made a blog…where you will letters for every one…if you wish it can be for you too…But… I am lazy and Busy…so it might take some time.

I think this bit of introsuction was good enough for you all…